Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
