He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
