whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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