Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
