She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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