i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize