You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
