did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
