are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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