I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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