I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
