what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
