That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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