Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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