he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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