I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
