I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I need moral support for this bender
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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