gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
