Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
