if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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