apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
