I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
