Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
