My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Quick, to the slutcave!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
