Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
