Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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