Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
