She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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