Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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