If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
