dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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