I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize