hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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