When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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