The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
