i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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