..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I understand Curling. That high.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
