Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
