he wants to bone in the snuggie
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
