I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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