IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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