we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
