I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i've created a new STD.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
