Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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