weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
