carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
