she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
