Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
