ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
