Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
