i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
