I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
